


Moving On (To Good Things)

by hourlyyoonhong



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:42:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25829860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hourlyyoonhong/pseuds/hourlyyoonhong
Summary: They finally take the first step forward, moving on to only good things from now.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 10
Kudos: 109





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> this was the insert of what happened when they went to laguna.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan looks at Seungcheol, Seungcheol looks at Jeonghan, then they both look at Joshua’s figure hunched under the thin blanket.

Jeonghan’s bones were seeping with exhaustion when they arrive at Seungkwan’s place. It was nothing but a two-hour drive but it still made Jeonghan’s bones and muscles protest, not used to being somewhere else but his bed for so long. With Seungkwan’s mom’s help, the boys split the chores without bloodshed. Seungkwan, Vernon and Soonyoung gets assigned to make dinner. Jihoon, Seungcheol and Wonwoo got assigned to clean up and set up while Junhui, Jeonghan and Joshua unload and unpack all their stuff into their rooms. 

Junhui, being the big Jeonghan Joshua advocate he was, immediately left the room after finishing their errands. He runs away with a towel over his shoulders and a basket filled with his toiletries saying “Swimming Swimming” as he leaves the room. 

Jeonghan, immediately communes with the bed after putting his bag in the cabinet. “Galaw ka ng galaw Joshuji” He whines as he watches Joshua tidy up the room as best as he could. He puts all their toiletries in the CR, places their clothes into the drawers and tidies up their bags. He was such a capricorn. 

“Shua” he calls, almost asleep as he pats the empty space next to him. “Magrest ka naman, tama na yan” 

Joshua only sing-songs an “almost done” like some kind of a disney princess as he finishes up tidying. Jeonghan should honestly be annoyed but he couldn’t help but be endeared. Within a few seconds, he starts giving in to the warm, downy scented sheets and closes his eyes. Imagine choosing to fix toiletries over sleeping, can’t be him. 

Jeonghan’s eyes fly open when the cushion dips and plops against Joshua’s weight. “Hi” Joshua says, warm eyes staring at him with so much joy and a sense of accomplishment.

“Tapos ka na?” he asks, beckoning him over with an extended arm which the latter gladly takes. 

“Mhm, I cleaned up our room na, look mo” he says as he rests his head on Jeonghan’s arm. 

Full disclosure, it made Jeonghan’s heart start beating wildly in his chest. The domesticity and warmth making him feel so… so… in..- nope. Not gonna say that. 

“Nice no?” Joshua smiles, expectant and always eager to please.

“Galing mo, pwede mo na paltan si Mari Kondo” Jeonghan says as he places a kiss on Joshua’s forehead. 

“I know!” Joshua giggles as he wraps his arms around Jeonghan’s waist and settles closer. “Will you baba?” Joshua asks as he toys with the ends of Jeonghan’s shirt. 

“Nope” Jeonghan answers quickly. Why on earth would he even want to go down when everything he ever wanted was here? He was a simple man. Give him a nice soft bed beneath him and a nice warm Joshua Hong beside him and he was content.

“Oh, okay” Joshua nods, nipping at his lower lip as he thought. There was a pause and Jeonghan peeps at him with one eye. He looks so cute when he’s all flushed and worried. “Han can we uhm-” 

Can we kiss? As friends? Can we momol? As best friends? 

Before Joshua could even finish his sentence, Jeonghan was already pressing his lips against his. It was a good thing Jeonghan cut him off because honestly? He didn't even know how to end that request without sounding utterly stupid. Thank God Jeonghan picked up from where he left off. 

As with everything done by Jeonghan, the kiss was perfect. Jeonghan knew what made Joshua’s insides shake. He knew where to touch and what to pull to set his insides alight. It didn’t take long until Joshua was basically rutting against his leg, mouth open and eyes shut tight as his senses got filled with nothing but Jeonghan. 

“Ayos ayos ka pa ng kwarto dudumihan lang din naman natin” Jeonghan snorts and Joshua hides his face under the pillow as he groans.

“Shut up Shut up Shut up” Joshua chants as he finally settles on top of Jeonghan to kiss his lewd mouth shut. Jeonghan doesn’t protest, easily gives in as his palms give a Joshua’s ass a victorious squeeze. 

_ “Pwet!” _ he thinks and it makes him smile against Joshua’s lips. 

“Jeonghan” Joshua whines, almost breathless as he taps on Jeonghan’s shoulder, trying to catch his attention. “Han wait” Joshua groans, his hands torn between pulling Jeonghan closer and pulling him away. 

“Ano?” Jeonghan finally gives in with a soft snort, pulling away from the red patch of skin he's just finished painting on Joshua’s neck. 

“I can’t stand it, I’m sorry. Can we palit?” Joshua whispers, burying his face on Jeonghan’s chest.

“Palit ng ano?” he asks, confused about where this conversation was headed. 

“Let’s just palit, I’m shy eh” Joshua repeats. 

“Paanong palit? Itotop mo ko?” Jeonghan asks, slightly offended as his brain ran a mile a minute thinking of why Joshua would even think of something like that. 

“No! Not that” Joshua says, embarrassed as he hits Jeonghan’s shoulder. “Let’s just switch places, I don't like seeing the wall.” 

Jeonghan sighs, pulling away from Joshua with slight annoyance. “Shuji tayo lang naman nandito, anong pinagkaiba pag nakatingin ka sa wall?” he snorts as he looks around, 

“Eh. He’s there eh. He’s looking at us oh” Joshua says, wedging his flamed face between the crook of Jeonghan’s neck.

“Babe ayoko ng takutan ah! Anong He?” Jeonghan pulls away, crossing his arms against his chest like a protesting child. 

“Him nga, look behind you kasi! He’s there oh! On the wall”

“Joshua!” Jeonghan calls, shoving at Joshua who was now giggling. 

“Babe si Jesus! Si Jesus kasi! Ano ba? There oh!” Joshua says, pointing to the crucifix on the wall above their bed. “Please it’s so awkward, kanina pa kami nage-eye contact ni Jesus. I’m so nahihiya” 

Jeonghan’s eyes roll to the back of his skull as he shakes his head. “Tangina naman, Joshua Hong” he groans as he takes the ends of the blankets in his hands and covers it over both of them.

“Ayan, di mo na siya kita, okay na ba?” Jeonghan says, watching Joshua’s eyes dart back to his lips as he swallows. Their lips only a breath apart and Joshua smiles. 

“Han?” he smiles, giving Jeonghan’s lips a kiss as Jeonghan lets his fingers skim his sides. “You know, with the kumot, I feel like Popoy and Bash-”

Jeonghan kisses him before he could even say anything that might threaten the life of his boner. “Babe” he begins, “Dami mong ebas. Subo mo na lang ako, pakaba ka eh.” Jeonghan says with no real hint of annoyance and Joshua snorts, shoving at Jeonghan playfully and giving him one last kiss before pulling Jeonghan’s shorts down his legs. 

“Oh diba, mas cute ka pag wala ka masyadong sinasabi?” Jeonghan chuckles as he watches Joshua’s full lips wrap around his length with a smug smirk. Joshua pinches his thigh in retaliation but says nothing more. 

If a month ago you told Jeonghan that his best friend would end up sucking his dick in the cutest, most endearing way possible, he would have probably called you nuts. It’s amazing how quick the tables turn tho. Funny how Jeonghan’s arm was almost cramping from holding his weight up so he can look down at Joshua giving him the suck of his life. It was beautiful. This was the sem-ender he pictured, just him on the bed, resting while his cock gets shoved down Joshua’s throat. Priceless.

“Kakain na mga baby ko” 

Joshua freezes, Jeonghan’s dick halfway into his mouth as he listens for the voice again.    
  


The door slides open with a careless thud and Seungcheol’s voice cuts through the awkward air again as he says “Hoy sabi ko kakain na”.

There wasn't enough time to prepare. Seungcheol flips the switch open, giving him an eyeful of Jeonghan and the mysterious blanket covered lump on the bed. 

Jeonghan looks at Seungcheol, Seungcheol looks at Jeonghan, then they both look at Joshua’s figure hunched under the thin blanket. 

No one says anything at first.

“Tangina naman Cheol!” Jeonghan barks, clearly disappointed as Joshua pulls away, slowly escaping from under the blanket like that would make the situation any better. “Tangina mo!” he yells at Seungcheol as he throws him a slipper, which the latter thankfully dodged. 

“Sorry! Sorry” Seungcheol says, shielding his face as he backs away, closing the lights again. “Sorry game, go na kayo, bababa na lang ako” he says before slowly backing away towards the door. 

“No na” Joshua says, voice so hoarse he sounded like he was on his second puberty. “We’ll baba na, C’mon na Han” he says, tapping Jeonghan’s thigh to get him to get up and walk. 

Jeonghan looks at him in disbelief. 

“Ngayon na? Ngayon na talaga? Di mo man lang tatapusin?” he asks, gesturing at the very obvious tent formed under the blankets. 

“No. No na. Let’s just go na” Joshua says, cheeks flushed as he zips his jacket up and pats his hair down. 

“Tangina mo Choi, iihiaan ko scical mo” Jeonghan says, as he steps out of the bed, pulling his shorts and boxers up, finding a way to make it less iffy. He flashes a finger at Seungcheol’s direction when Joshua turns to leave the room. 

“Bakit ako??” Seungcheol asks, vexed and feeling unfairly targeted. “Tangina inutusan lang naman ako” he says when Jeonghan stands beside him, holding the slipper up and threatening to hit him with it.

“Enough. Let’s just go down to eat na” Joshua says,hiding his dampened horndog spirit under some semblance of maturity.

Jeonghan, like the fully mature 21 year old he was, shoves Seungcheol on the way to the stairs and Seungcheol shoves him back. They keep hitting each other as they make their way down the stairs and Joshua clicks his tongue when someone’s hand ends up hitting his back.

“Stop it na!” he says, eyes widening in that terrifying yet adorable way.

“Tagal tagal niyo! Lumamig na yung fucking sinigang” Junhui says as he scoots, making space on the long bench they were sitting on. Seungcheol sits on the spot immediately, leaving Jeonghan and Joshua to stand on the side awkwardly. They had a makeshift grill on the table too and Joshua would usually be thrilled at the sight of samgyup and sinigang but not tonight.

He would rather his mouth was filled with something else. Charet. 

His eyes fly up to look at Jeonghan who puts his hand inside his shorts’s back pocket. Joshua doesn’t mind. If it was up to him, he’d make Jeonghan’s warm palm live in his pocket rent free, really. But they were in front of all of their friends and Jeonghan had his hand in his back pocket like some kind of exhibitionist who thought getting caught by Seungcheol was not enough.

“Han naman eh” he says, elbowing Jeonghan to get him to take his hand out. “Don’t be kulit. Just eat” he says, taking his hand and forcibly pulling it out of his pocket. 

“Stop it na” he says sternly and Jeonghan gives him one last look -- and another non discrete ass squeeze before putting his hand out of his pocket and walking to where Seungcheol was seated. 

He then takes Seungcheol’s plate from him, eating his food with a small mirthful grin. 

“Plato ko yan eh” Seungcheol complains and Jeonghan just smiles at him and walks away to sit with Joshua on the other end of the table.

This was so going to be a long night.

Jeonghan looks like a normal 20 year old boy on the outside but holds grudges like a 2 year old on the inside. In the five minutes they have been sitting together, Jeonghan has already managed to torment Seungcheol’s food and drinks a hundred different ways. At one point, he has even put vinegar inside Seungcheol’s sprite, which made the latter almost punch him in the face. 

Joshua was just honestly so done. 

“Jeonghan” Joshua whispers, elbowing the man in question who was on his second bottle of pilsen, still pissing Seungcheol off. “You’re being such a kid, stop that na.” He says, swatting his hand who was just about to throw a chip at Seungcheol’s face.

Jeonghan says nothing, just holds his hand to keep it under the table before throwing the chip and celebrating when it lands inside Seungcheol’s new cup of sprite. The pout on Seungcheol’s face was so fucking priceless and Joshua almost cries from pity. Jihoon was starting to get pissed too. 

“Babe, stop it na!” He tells Jeonghan again through clenched teeth. Jeonghan was being annoying on purpose and Joshua feels so bad for Seungcheol who kept getting the short end of the stick despite having apologized already. 

He takes matters into his own hands, messaging Jeonghan to talk about things that were too awkward to talk about in person.With just a few clicks and a promise of continuing what was paused later when everyone was asleep, Jeonghan has a quick change of heart. He hugs Seungcheol like a long lost friend and Seungcheol, like the pure hearted man child he is, forgives him easily. 

With the awkward air around them now gone, the night was infinitely better. Soonyoung hoarded the karaoke mic with a passion as Jeonghan and Seungcheol tried to outdrink each other, arguing about who the bigger person. Jihoon remained silent, preferring to observe than get involved. 

Whenever Seungcheol would lose an argument to Jeonghan, Jihoon would simply laugh at him instead of help him win. They were like best friends who fell in love and Joshua honestly envied them for that. 

“Putangina, kanino tong Zebbiana?” Junhui asks, scoffing into the mic as he took a shot. 

“Amin yan, bakit?” Seungcheol says, taking both of the mics and handing one to his boyfriend who looked like he wouldn’t take it. 

Everyone guffawed and whipped their phones out when Jihoon started rapping the opening bars of the song. A proud smile settled on Seungcheol’s face as he hyped Jihoon up. God was he so whipped. By the end of Jihoon and Seungcheol’s heartwarming rendition of Zebbiana-- it was their favorite song, bakit ba-- Jeonghan had already stood up to take a piss, getting a little tipsy. 

“That was so galing” Joshua tells Jihoon, eyes watery as he sniffles. “I really felt how much you love each other” he tells the shorter man who looks at him with amused eyes. 

“Lasing na to no?” He asks Seungcheol and the other holds a thumbs up with his free hand as he downs his beer with the other. 

“I’m not lasing!” Joshua says, shaking his head. “I’m just I’m inggit. I want what you have. I want that... That...” Joshua clasps his hands together in a prayer and sighs. He couldn’t seem to find the word for it. 

“Love?” Jihoon says with a smile as he watches Seungcheol run to push an unsuspecting Seungkwan into the pool. 

“Yeah” Joshua nods, hand tightening around his bottle of beer as he sighs. 

“I want that. I want to have someone the way you and Seungcheol have each other, alam mo yon?” he says, looking up at Jihoon who looks at him with a sad smile, nodding. 

“I want to have someone of my own who will look at me the way you look at Cheol. I want to have a person who will do the dumbest things with me, someone I can be myself around without having to be cautious. Someone, someone like-”

“Someone like kuya Jeonghan, tama?” Jihoon asks and Joshua almost falls from his chair as he reaches out to cover his palm over the smaller man’s lips.

“What the fuck?” Joshua asks, panicked. “How did you know? Why do you know? Sino pa may alam? Jihoon, who told you!!!” he all but cries and Jihoon chuckles, running his hands down the older’s back to try to calm him down.

“Di ka naman discrete, kuya” Jihoon snorts, shaking his head as he helps Joshua sit back down. “Im pretty sure na alam na ng lahat, except ni kuya Jeonghan, bano kayong dalawa eh” he chuckles.

Joshua starts sniffling and Jihoon pats him good naturedly. What a cry-baby. 

Seungcheol makes it back in time to see Joshua full out crying, tears falling from his eyes. Jihoon catches him up on their conversation and it makes a sad but hopeful smile bloom on his face as he says “in love si tanga oh”

“May plano ka ba sabihin kay Han na gusto mo siya?” Seungcheol asks as he encases Joshua in a hug. The latter just sighs and lets himself be entrapped in Seungcheol’s big trunk arms as he shrugs. He looks defeated when he takes another swig of his beer. 

“I don’t know. I like him, but I don’t know if I should” he says and Jihoon nods sympathetically, ruffling his hair. 

“There’s so much to think about, so much to consider. I have so many doubts and it’s honestly scaring me, parang mas maganda na lang if I keep these all to myself” Joshua admits, lips forming a pout which Seungcheol unintentionally mirrors. He hated seeing his best friends like this. He hated how dense they both were, how bad they were hurting themselves in semblance of keeping the equilibrium that was their friendship. 

“You’ll know pag kaya mo na, kuya.” Jihoon says. Seungcheol looks at him with a proud smile and it makes his heart skip a beat as he continues, “Pag naman sure na yung puso mo sa nararamadaman mo, wala nang makakapigil sa bibig mo, kuya. Di mo naman kailangan pilitin yon, kuya. Darating din yung oras na yon, wag ka lang maduduwag. You don't know when it’ll happen again if you let it pass” he says and Seungcheol has a proud but soft look on his face as he looks at his boyfriend. 

Jihoon has never been the best at words, but he’s always been a great friend. Instead of a long winding advice, Jihoon just hands Joshua another bottle of beer and gives him a smile. With a stifled yawn hidden behind his palm, he walks over to Seungcheol, giving him a kiss on the cheek before whispering “love you, antok na ko” before making his way upstairs.

Sometimes, even Seungcheol wondered how he ended up with a love as beautiful as the one he shared with Jihoon. 

Jeonghan was nowhere in sight now, leaving Joshua under the care of Seungcheol, who had no thoughts of keeping him in check if the way he was handing him shot after shot was any indication. Joshua understood that Jeonghan had no reason to keep him company or watch over him, it still didn't stop him from searching for him. Jeonghan was his pillar afterall, sober or not, he wanted Jeonghan by his side. Always. 

Joshua’s thoughts deepened with the night surrounding them. Each shot he took him brought him to a deeper introspective journey. 

What would a world without Jeonghan be? Not that he was exaggerating but Joshua couldn't really imagine it anymore. Jeonghan has been with him every step of the way. Has kept him company since he was a dumb freshman from LA who barely spoke any tagalog. 

He couldn’t let Jeonghan go anymore. Not when he has become his greatest source of comfort. His arms have been his own piece of home. 

He couldn’t bear to see Jeonghan with another girl again. He wouldn’t ever want to see Jeonghan be with anyone again. As selfish as it sounded, Joshua wanted all of Jeonghan for himself. 

His epiphany washes the drunken stupor away from his brain and for a moment he was stone cold sober. 

He likes Jeonghan and he has to let him know

There was nothing romantic about the way Seungcheol tried to steal Seungkwan’s nephew’s mini bike. Nothing remotely beautiful in the way Junhui was sobbing into the mic as he sang his rendition of Morisette’s Akin ka na Lang. 

But Joshua takes one look at his empty hand and feels his heart threatening to fall off of his chest, yearning to go to Jeonghan. This must be it, the perfect timing Jihoon told him of. He couldn’t chicken out now. 

  
  
  


\--

  
  
  


“The stars are so nice here no?” Joshua says, the bones in his neck cracking in protest as he whips his head up to see the stars. Jeonghan chuckles as he hands him his cup of tea, earning him a small starry eyed smile from Joshua. 

“Magkakamukha lang naman lahat ng stars, Shuji” Jeonghan comments annoyingly, a smile pulling on his face as he looks up at the bright night sky. 

Seungcheol has peacefully left them alone after giving their piping hot tea cups and Jeonghan was thankful that he didn't do or say anything stupid to ruin the moment. 

“Look oh! Big dipper!” Joshua smiles, his wonky finger shaking as he points at a random spot in the sky. Jeonghan shakes his head but still follows his finger with his eyes. “Han, look, you see that? Yung five na stars? That’s cassiopeia and that one? Yung three stars? That’s orion’s belt!” Joshua babbles on giddily. 

“Dami mo namang alam, Kuya Kim ka?” Jeonghan teases but it doesn’t dampen Joshua’s spirits. He loves the stars and he could talk about them for days. He was lucky Jeonghan never tires of watching him talk about the things he loves. 

“Kala mo ikaw lang? Madami akong alam na stars, tignan mo, Capricorn” he says, pointing to Joshua, “Libra ako, tas ayon oh! Dun sa taas, Gemini, kaway ka dali” Jeonghan says, waving Joshua’s right arm for him as he nodded his head at Soonyoung in greeting. 

“HI KUYA JEONG I LABYU” Soonyoung screams in his drunken glory, a very fond Wonwoo watching him from behind as he exchanged flying kisses with Jeonghan. They were adorable. 

“Eh! No!” Joshua whines. “Gimme your hand” he slurs, taking Jeonghan’s hand in his before the other could even protest. He takes Jeonghan’s middle, pointer and index finger, leaving them up as he folded his remaining fingers. “You see, if you put your fingers up like this,” Joshua pauses, fumbling to get Jeonghan to raise his arm upwards, aligning it with the constellation of Orion’s belt. “It aligns with the belt perfectly! Amazing diba?” Joshua giggles, fascinated by his own trivia. 

The night was beautiful, but none of the stars shone as bright as the ones in Joshua’s eyes. Jeonghan loses himself in it. 

“Di ka naman nag-lilisten eh” Joshua whines, meeting Jeonghan’s eyes that have been staring at him for a while. 

“Nakikinig ako!” Jeonghan smiles in that awfully charming way and Joshua melts a little inside. “Diba, tong tatlong daliri na to, pag tinaas ko magiging belt ni Orion” he repeats and Joshua smiles, impressed that Jeonghan even remembered let alone paid attention. 

“Eh pag tong tatlong daliring to, pinasok ko sa pwet mo, ano mangyayari?” 

“Jeonghan naman” Joshua groans as he shoves at Jeonghan with a frown and Jeonghan just laughs, taking a sip from his cup as he watches a flushed Joshua fumble and grumble beside him. Cute. 

“Nagtatanong lang, ‘to naman” Jeonghan says, wrapping his arm around Joshua’s neck with a chuckle, pulling him closer to place a kiss on his crown. 

“Han” Joshua says, eyes fixated on the calm little ripples on the empty pool. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Game.” Jeonghan says, threading his fingers through Joshua’s hair and making little fountains of hair with his fingers. 

“I'm scared”

“Of?”

“I’m scared to have sex with you”

This makes Jeonghan’s brows furrow as he looks down at Joshua, clearly confused. “I’m scared to have sex with you because I dont know what that would mean.”

Jeonghan snorts. “Gago, edi ibigsabihin non, pinasok ko na si junjun sa pwet mo, it’s not rocket science, Shuji” he replies,putting their half finished cups of tea away. 

“I know that!” Joshua says, escaping his best friend’s hold with sloppy limbs. 

“It’s just that, ano, I keep worrying about what it’s going to mean for me. Alam mo yon?” Joshua pauses, tipping his chin back as he lets his tear filled eyes gaze at the stars. “Wouldn’t that mean I like men? Would that mean I’m gay?” Joshua muses, his voice so frail and Jeonghan was at a loss for words so he just takes his best friend's hand.

“I know I’m being kind of unfair for doing this whole sexual experimenting thing with you but Jeonghan I like you, I wouldn't have agreed to all of this if I didn’t diba? So you know I must like you a lot, right?”

Jeonghan swallows the lump in his throat did Joshua really just confess to him?

“I’m at this point where I feel like I like you a lot but I shouldn’t so I keep holding back. I keep saying no to having sex with you kasi that would solidify everything na eh. It would make everything concrete. And then I’d have to tell my mom about it- Shit! What would my mom say- Fuck how do I even tell her all of these, fuck naman” Joshua groans, rubbing his palms against his eyes to stop the tears from falling. “I don't want her to think that I'm any different just because I don’t like girls the way society tells me I should. Is that so bad?”

Not everyone had the luxury to be born into a family as accepting as Jeonghan’s, hell not everyone had the guts to come out like Jeonghan did. For him, there wasn't a hesitance, no prolonged denial just immediate welcoming of the new knowledge that he likes both boys and girls. But his lack of internal struggles doesn’t make his journey of coming out any less significant. 

“Huy, bat ka umiiyak parang tanga to” Jeonghan says, his lips quivering as he tried to comfort his best friend. 

“It’s still me, I’m the same Jisoo she raised, I just.. I like you now, not any girl. I like my best friend who just happens to be a boy. That doesn’t make me a bad person right?” Joshua rambles on and Jeonghan nods. He was right. 

But not everyone would be understanding. 

Jeonghan didn't know what to say to make things better, so he just listened.

He didn't even know if it was going to be better in the future but he didn't have to. For now, he could offer his silence. He could offer his hug and his welcoming arms that wrap around Joshua in acceptance and understanding.

“We don't hold the future, Shuji. Kahit gusto ko man sabihin sayo, hindi ko alam kung anong magiging takbo pag umamin ka sa mga tao sa paligid mo eh. But one thing is for sure, dito lang ako.” 

Joshua clutches onto Jeonghan’s shirt for support as he cried and Jeonghan hugged him through it. He ran his hands down Joshua’s back comfortingly, tightening his hug whenever a fresh wave of sobs came to bother his best friend. God what he wouldn't give to keep Joshua’s pain away.

“Lahat kami dito, sure ako, andito kami para sayo. But our acts of acceptance and welcoming would be worthless kung di ka aamin sa sarili mo. Hindi mo pwdeng i-invalidate yung feelings mo dahil lang natatakot ka. If you feel it, Shuji, then it’s real. Liking someone of the same sex doesn't make that feeling of love any less valid than liking someone from the opposite sex, diba?”

Joshua was the most beautiful person that has ever crossed his life and he deserves only the best things. Oh what Jeonghan wouldn't give to see him stop crying and start smiling again. He wanted to share his worries, ease his burdens- anything. 

What Jeonghan wouldn't give to keep his Joshua happy. 

And that’s when it clicks. 

“Dito lang ako” Jeonghan whispers against Joshua’s crown. “Dito lang ako, Shuji.” 

That summer night, on the quaint bench right beside the pool outside Seungkwan’s house, the warmth of the orion’s belt and a thousand other stars stood witness to Jeonghan finally falling in love.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They didn’t have to rush. There was always going to be later. Time will never run out for them because from here on, every moment was only theirs to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was what happened when Jeonghan took Joshua home after laguna.

“Maligo ka na, amoy suka ka” Jeonghan says as he opens Joshua’s unit’s door with practiced ease. 

“No! I’m bango” Joshua says, sniffing his jacket before giving Jeonghan a frown.

“Cologne lang yan. Hindi ka pa nagbabanlaw simula kagabi, Shua. Trust me, ang baho mo na” Jeonghan continues to tease as he makes his way to lie on Joshua’s bed. Pristine white sheets call Jeonghan’s attention and he finds himself gravitating toward it, finally giving in to the lack of sleep and emotional exhaustion as he throws himself on the bed. 

“Smell me kaya” Joshua says with a pout as he lays next to Jeonghan, body moving towards the other before he could even think. 

“Baho” Jeonghan teases, pinching his nose shut with his fingers and Joshua whines like a child. “Eh! Noooo” he says as he pulls at Jeonghan’s hands and laces it with his. 

Jeonghan’s heart skips in his chest. So this is how he’ll live his life now huh? Having mini heart attacks every time Joshua does the bare minimum? How stupid.

He takes his vape from his pocket absentmindedly and he takes a long, stressed drag from it, sighing clouds of smoke that fill Joshua’s small room. 

“Han, no yosi” Joshua says, clicking his tongue as he slapped Jeonghan’s hand away from his mouth. 

“Hindi naman to yosi ah.” Jeonghan says, taking another drag from his vape before annoyingly exhaling it in Joshua’s direction.

“I don’t like the smoke nga” Joshua whines, shoving at Jeonghan and putting more space between them as Jeonghan takes another hit.

“Bakit ba? Wala namang amoy” Jeonghan says with a chuckle, waving his vape in front of Joshua’s face. “Wala na ngang nagdadala ng yosi kasi nagagalit kayo ni Seungkwan” he says, shaking his head in disappointment. 

“Amoy mo na lang, babe, amoy lychee”

“No.” Joshua says, adamantly crossing his arms against his chest. Jeonghan shakes his head and turns until he’s facing Joshua properly, taking a long drag before exhaling right in front of Joshua’s face.

“Oh diba ang bango?” Jeonghan chuckles as he watches Joshua crinkle his nose and close his eyes. The latter only responds by punching his shoulder “Aray” Jeonghan screams and it makes Joshua laugh.

“So OA” he notes and Jeonghan chuckles, laying his arm above Joshua’s head which the latter gladly uses as a pillow. 

“Kaya nga tayo mag best friend diba? Kasi pareho tayo ng ugali” Jeonghan says and Joshua chuckles. 

It should be annoying really, how Jeonghan was exhaling smoke into Joshua’s personal space but it somehow has the opposite effect on Joshua. He bites his lip as he watches Jeonghan’s lips wrap around the small device, throat feeling dry and so stupidly  _ brave.  _ Something inside him burns and urges him to close the distance between their lips, finally kissing Jeonghan. 

And Jeonghan does taste a bit like lychee, sweet and faint but his tongue and lips were familiar, welcoming.

Somehow, the word best friend doesn’t seem right anymore. Not when Joshua brings them even closer together, lips still pressed against each other and bodies pressed even closer. Jeonghan puts his vape in Joshua’s back pocket, giving his pert ass a sly squeeze just because he can. Muffled moans escape Joshua’s lips as Jeonghan continues to palm and squeeze his ass through his shorts.

“Han” he calls, voice sounding weak and foreign even to his own ears. Jeonghan just hums in acknowledgement, lips too occupied with peppering kisses on Joshua’s jaw “Han, Let’s do it na”

“Do what?” Jeonghan asks, wanting to hear the words out of Joshua’s lips. Consent is everything. Even if Jeonghan was dying to fuck Joshua the moment they met he would never do anything without hearing him say yes.

“You know na what I mean” he grumbles.

“Kala ko ba ayaw mo? Kala ko natatakot ka?” Jeonghan prods and Joshua sighs, taking Jeonghan’s hand in his. 

“And I still am. I’m still scared, syempre. But you know, Han.” their eyes lock and and the tension seeps out of Joshua’s shoulders, the sight of Jeonghan next to him casting all his worries away. 

“There’s no one I’d rather do it with than you”

Jeonghan’s heart feels like it's about to burst in his chest. _ Lead me Lord  _ he prays.

“You’re right. I don’t have control about what other people would think or say but I do have control over my feelings for you. And right now, Han, I feel so much for you. I l--”

It was the mix of fear and excitement that had Jeonghan closing the distance between them, cupping Joshua’s cheeks tenderly as he finally silenced him with his own lips. 

“Mamaya na lang.” Jeonghan says when they pull away. 

Joshua felt like drowning, making his hands clutch onto Jeonghan’s shirt for support. “What?” he asks, dazed.

“Later. We’ll talk about it later” 

Joshua doesn’t trust his own self to answer that so he just nods.

They didn’t have to rush. There was always going to be later. Time will never run out for them because from here on, every moment was only theirs to share.

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything more,eagerly tipping the younger's chin up to press a gentle kiss on his lips. They both pull away with a soft smile, feeling nothing short of elated because  _ finally-- fucking finally: this was happening. _

Joshua’s blue firebird slides down his shoulders with almost no resistance, Jeonghan’s skilled fingers pushing it down his arms with ease. Joshua didn't mind that he was already half naked while Jeonghan sat beneath him, fully clothed. He didn't have the time to feel embarrassed, not when he felt Jeonghan’s  _ big _ cock sandwiched between his ass. 

“Jeonghan” he says, pulling away from the kiss to get a grip. His body gives out a shudder, looking forward to what was going to happen next. 

“Hm?” Jeonghan finally answers him, pulling their lower halves closer until there wasn't even an inch of space between them. 

“Are you sure that will fit?” Joshua asks, lip worried between his teeth. “I’m scared, you’re so big.” Joshua says. Jeonghan was guilty enough to feel embarrassed when he feels his cock twitch to life from Joshua’s words. 

A charming smile settles on Jeonghan’s lips as he bumps his forehead against Joshua’s. “Shuji” he says, lacing their fingers together as he tried to calm an almost panicking Joshua down. 

“Shuji, babe, tingin ka sakin” he calls, manually tipping Joshua’s chin up to get him to look into his eyes. And it works just like a charm. He feels Joshua’s whole body relax, easily succumbing to Jeonghan. 

“We’ll make it work.” Jeonghan says as he presses a kiss on Joshua’s nose. Despite his broad shoulders and toned pecs, Joshua looked small in Jeonghan’s hold. So small and afraid and Jeonghan just gives their linked hands a squeeze, reminding Joshua that he was just right there. 

Joshua nods and gives Jeonghan a small smile, finally feeling safe. What was he even worrying about? This was him and Jeonghan, they always make things work. 

“Okay ka pa?” Jeonghan asks, letting his free hand skim down Joshua’s sides. Joshua nods and Jeonghan kisses him again. His fingers explore what his eyes couldn’t reach, pushing past the waistband of his shorts and bravely into his boxers to tease at his rim. He sighs relief unto the kiss they share when Joshua doesn’t pull away. It was usually at this point that Joshua backed out, easily spooked by anything coming too close to his ass. 

“Theres thingies there” Joshua says breathlessly as he points to the small bedside table he had. 

“Thingies?” Jeonghan repeats, not sure if he heard Joshua right.

“Yeah. You know..thingies” Joshua says eloquently, cheeks getting tinged with a bright shade of pink as he admits. “Cheol gave me lube and condoms dati and I just.. Kept it there just in case” 

“Very good” Jeonghan teases, rummaging through the drawer as he starts showering the other’s face with kisses all over. Joshua giggles, loving every bit of attention showered upon him. 

May praise kink amputa. 

With packets of lube and condom now in his hands, Jeonghan finally feels the pressure. This was it. This was really finally happening. 

“Babe?” Joshua calls softly head cocking to the side as he looks at Jeonghan. “All good?” he asks. 

“Mhm” he hums delightedly as he pushes Joshua to lie down on the bed, the mattress protesting with a soft thud. “Bakit?”

“Wala, you stopped kissing me eh” Joshua says and Jeonghan chuckles, hooking his fingers on on each side of Joshua’s shorts, pulling it down with little help from Joshua who only lifts his hips up.

“Miss mo naman ako agad” Jeonghan teases as he cages Joshua’s head in between his arms. Joshua says nothing, just settles his hands on Jeonghan’s shoulders, starting to kiss him slowly. Joshua nips on Jeonghan’s lower lip in a way he knew the older liked and Jeonghan returned the favor by letting his tongue slip past the younger’s lips, letting their tongues dance to the beat of their hearts. 

He lets his leg wedge between Joshua’s own, feeling the other’s bare length against his clothed thigh and he sighs, his hold on Joshua tightening when he starts rutting against his leg. 

Jeonghan was still fully clothed as the younger was reduced into a naked mess cradled in his arms. Joshua entrusts himself to Jeonghan, fully throwing his head back with a loud moan of his best friend’s name. The warmth of jeonghan's still clothed chest feels almost overwhelming as he feels Jeonghan’s lubed finger push past inside him. It didn’t hurt, it just felt weird and probey. The second one has Joshua hissing, his muscles straining a little. 

Jeonghan keeps kissing him, distracting him from the slight burn. It wasn’t until Jeonghan crooks his fingers that Joshua was reduced into a whining, babbling mess. The sheets crumple under Joshua’s unforgiving hands and Jeonghan takes pity on them. He takes Joshua’s free hand in his, set on never letting him go. 

Jeonghan admires how his back arches beautifully as he all but hands his ass for him to take. It takes a little while for Joshua to get used to the pull and just as Jeonghan’s wrist was about to die, Joshua finally speaks coherently. 

“Babe I don't want na” Joshua sputters, catching his breath as he talks. His eyes were glazed and his voice was hoarse from all but shouting Jeonghan’s name. 

“Ha?” Jeonghan asks, his wrist stilling.

“Don't like those na” Joshua says, shaking his head as he swats Jeonghan’s fingers away. “Put it in na”

Jeonghan stares at him in disbelief. 

“Putangina mo rin” Jeonghan counters and Joshua frowns. “What?”

“Minura mo ba ko?” 

“Fuck naman” Joshua says, letting out at pained noise that was a cross between a laugh and groan as he says “No! I said put it in me na. Tangina ka” he chuckles, hiding his flushed face behind a bent arm.

“So Tanga” Joshua teases and Jeonghan rolls his eyes. 

“Shuji alam mo”Jeonghan begins with a chuckle, pulling his shorts down and ripping the packet of condom with his teeth. “Mas mabait ka pag finifinger.” 

Power bottom amputa. 

Jeonghan didn't like getting bossed around. He wanted to redeem his pride. Wanted to hear Joshua cry for his cock but maybe that was too brutal for a first time. Maybe he’ll do that the next time Joshua turns into such a whiny bitch. 

Jeonghan finally slides his length inside Joshua slowly, teeth seething as he strains a little before bottoming out. He was sure pretty sure he had a wet dream like this once. Maybe even twice. But nothing comes even close to how good it feels to be inside Joshua. 

Joshua knew he was now at Jeonghan's mercy so he kept asking, begging. Jeonghan's name escaped his lips like a prayer.

Jeonghan's eyes feast on the way Joshua's lips curl to form a silent moan every time he crooks his fingers just right. Watched him beg for another kiss, another touch, anything, really. 

No part of Joshua was just his own now. At this moment, every bit of him belonged to Jeonghan too. And Jeonghan knew that. He knew that Joshua trusted him so much. Joshua starts drooling on Jeonghan's arm, pathetically, tears brimming on his eyes as he flushes from the neck down, his hips searching for a rhythm with Jeonghan’s hips. 

The slide was perfect and Joshua shudders, his jaw slacking as he moans. Jeonghan's deep grunts made a melody he could listen to for years. He feels full, content to lay there and keep Jeonghan's length inside him until his last dying breath. 

Jeonghan lives for the small babbles. The incoherent whines, the whispered compliments. Everything goes straight to his head still twitching inside Joshua’s hole. He lets their lips meld in a kiss as he quickens his pace. Joshua wanted to warn Jeonghan that he was close, really but how could he when all he could muster were clipped variations of Jeonghan’s name and a stream of pleas. 

Joshua's vision blurs as he tries to breathe, chasing away the spots in his vision as Jeonghan continues to pound into him, one hand resting on his hip for leverage. A hard thrust sends Joshua nearly bouncing off the mattress and Joshua finally lets go; the knot in his stomach unfurling as he makes a mess out of the once pristine sheets. 

Joshua slowly regains a good sense of the world around him. 

“Babe? Shuji?” Jeonghan says, patting Joshua’s thigh in worry. 

That was the best earth shattering, mind blowing, back breaking 10 seconds of bliss in all of Joshua’s life. 

Some time along the way, Jeonghan has finished inside Joshua, too. It makes pride and a bit of arousal pool at his gut. 

“Buhay ka pa?” Jeonghan asks as he gives Joshua’s cheek a peck. 

“Mhm” Joshua nods in agreement, hugging Jeonghan closer. 

“Lambing mo naman pala after sex” Jeonghan teases as he kisses Joshua’s face all over, never getting enough of him. 

“I’m always lambing to you kaya.” 

“Bakit? Kasi crush mo ko?” 

Reality hits them both like a wave of ice cold water. This was it. After kissing came the telling. They had a lot to talk about. 

“Jeonghan I…” Joshua begins, swallowing the lump in his throat as he tries to think straight. 

“Wait lang, 5 seconds” Jeonghan says, pointing at how his cock was still wedged up Joshua’s ass. There was no way in the world that Jeonghan could talk to Joshua like this. 

“Oh right, Sorry” Joshua says, barely covering the needy whine that escapes his lips when Jeonghan pulls out. 

Jeonghan misses the warmth already but he’s a grown man. A grown man who has to tell Joshua how he feels. He will not beg for a round two now. (Maybe later, depending on how well the talk goes.)

With the used condom now disposed properly, Jeonghan comes back to sit next to Joshua on the bed, handing him clean boxers to change into.

“Ano yon? Ano sasabihin mo?” he asks, crossing his arms as he looked at him expectantly. 

“Jeonghan I..” Joshua begins, tense and unable to breathe. “I…”

_ Please. _ ...Jeonghan prays  _ Please tell me you love me too.  _

“I have to wiwi” Joshua says, taking his boxers with him and making a run for the CR before Jeonghan could even make a move to stop him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...hindi ko na alam, manalangin tayo HAHAHAHHHAA   
> may nagbasa ba nito?   
> shout at me   
> curiouscat.me/shualebration

**Author's Note:**

> did anyone even finish this? ang haba shuta HAHSHAHAHA tho may utang pa akong isa pang chapter....basta, walang hiraman ng electric fan sa impyerno, kanya kanya tayo.  
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
> 
> yelling appreciated  
> curiouscat.me/shualebration


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